like I will never find the right Woman,I at one time felt that it was Ok to be alone..I have my own everything,my daughter is doing well,so what is it? My rationale for being in a relationship is..that I don't want to die alone,but it seems like that's the way it's going to go down..I've been in 2 relationships in the past year that were cool in the beginning,I actually shared some of my pain through tears with these Women believing that being honest and open in the beginning would bring about some type of trust...I want to say that I regret it,but I don't...regardless of their ignorance to life I was able to cleanse my soul of the hurt that I have been carrying for 40 years...I remember the saying (a Family that Prays together stays together)I was at the point of waking up in the morning touching this Woman and thanking the most high for the opportunity to have someone who loved me unconditionally.To my amazement this was short lived...I read on one of my friends blogs that sometimes people are in your life for whatever reason it may be,maybe to enlighten you on what to avoid in the future...I really don't know...I guess that Love has truly evaded me for so long that in desperation I seek it,and the end result is Pain..The reason that I started this Blog is to Heal myself through sharing my Pain with anyone out there that can relate to what I'm going through...Regardless of the ignorance I will always stay true to the most high...and Be Careful Of What I Pray For.....God Bless...
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sometimes I feel...
like I will never find the right Woman,I at one time felt that it was Ok to be alone..I have my own everything,my daughter is doing well,so what is it? My rationale for being in a relationship is..that I don't want to die alone,but it seems like that's the way it's going to go down..I've been in 2 relationships in the past year that were cool in the beginning,I actually shared some of my pain through tears with these Women believing that being honest and open in the beginning would bring about some type of trust...I want to say that I regret it,but I don't...regardless of their ignorance to life I was able to cleanse my soul of the hurt that I have been carrying for 40 years...I remember the saying (a Family that Prays together stays together)I was at the point of waking up in the morning touching this Woman and thanking the most high for the opportunity to have someone who loved me unconditionally.To my amazement this was short lived...I read on one of my friends blogs that sometimes people are in your life for whatever reason it may be,maybe to enlighten you on what to avoid in the future...I really don't know...I guess that Love has truly evaded me for so long that in desperation I seek it,and the end result is Pain..The reason that I started this Blog is to Heal myself through sharing my Pain with anyone out there that can relate to what I'm going through...Regardless of the ignorance I will always stay true to the most high...and Be Careful Of What I Pray For.....God Bless...
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I understand exactly what you're saying Brother! I've been there more times than I'd care to admit. Going through the pain repeatedly brought me to a point where I had come to the realization (God was actually telling me) that I had to learn how to love myself to the point that the fear of dying alone was no longer something I was afraid of. You would Thank God every morning for this woman..were you sure that she was actually sent by God? I beleive that if she truly was, you would still be with her. Coming from a Biblical standpoint:What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. You're a beautiful Brother and I truly believe that God has a beautiful (inside and out) Woman that is worthy of you. in the meantime,continue to build yourself up spiritually without the distractions that keep you from knowing and loving who you really are. i love the honesty of this blog and I think it's a very important step in the right direction. Keep doing what you're doing and I look forward to reading more from you!!!
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