Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I got a text today....

PhotobucketAnd it was from my ex...the message was about how she loved me but she didn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore....at first I felt like How dare she? but after a little more reading I realized that I was dealing with a confused person...All I ever did was be a friend to this woman...First off,she had 5 children by 3 different Fathers who didn't give a dam about them...2nd,I didn't allow that to decide my feelings,I was there putting food on the table,giving out more hugs and kisses than anything to these children....I saw it as an opportunity to give back,since I was neglected as a child,abused mentally and physically,I felt this need to be there for them...In turn it was a ruse...I was just being used...I have been hurt so much that it seems 2nd nature for me to continue to get hurt by others....I thought that I was a spiritual person...I thought that my relationship with God was solid...and it is...I now recognize that God allows these things to happen to strengthen us..to build character,I just wish that I didn't have to suffer through the pain of it all...This is my 2nd blog entry and the hurt has not diminished but I guess with continued writing and prayer from my people,I'll find a way out..just for today..I love me and regardless of what others have done to me...I believe that my blessing is coming soon....Peace People....

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